Problemitizing My ImagineIT: Phase IV
From my readings of What Should I do? Confronting Dilemmas of Teaching in Urban Schools
Dilemma #1: How Do I Care for Other People’s Children?
My school has a very diverse student population, as do many CPS schools. I wanted to relay two specific instances of how I felt very vulnerable, uncomfortable, worried, and frightened while teaching over the past two years. Last year, during the first of week of school, I had a junior in my advanced algebra class become extremely agitated and anxious. I had the luxury of a co-teacher in that class, so I asked “Madeline” to step out into the hall so I could talk with her. She was distraught, beginning to cry almost uncontrollably, as she relayed to me her total fear of mathematics. She had always struggled with math and was COMPLETELY convinced she would not be able to understand anything we would be covering during the year, much less master it. After a few minutes, she relayed to me that she had not taken her medication that morning and just basically needed to have a place to calm down. I had had a student about fifteen years prior have a similar anxiety attack and I had called 911. I was worried that I would have to do the same thing with Madeline.
During the first week this year, I had a student (who I knew from the soccer team) say he felt very light headed and wanted to go get a drink of water. He was obviously not feeling well at all and I was worried that he might pass out on the way to the fountain, hit his head and be knocked unconscious. I knew he was in great shape from being on the soccer team, but I was still very worried. The other students in the class were working independently so I was able to stand at the door and watch him go down the hall to the fountain and back. He ended up being fine by the time class ended.
The reason I mention these two instances is that I worry on a regular basis for many of my students. We start our first class at 7:30 am and many students leave their home very early in the morning to get to school, sometimes taking 2 or 3 buses. I am sure that many leave without eating breakfast, many forget to take medication, and some have major issues at home which makes it difficult to concentrate and focus on schoolwork. The two students I mentioned above ended up both being fine but I worried that if something had gone wrong later in the day, I could have been in trouble for not calling 911. On the other hand, if I had called 911, I would have to do it on a regular basis. Trying to use my years of experience, knowing the students, running all the options in my head WHILE teaching class / having 28+ students in front of me, is very exhausting. I know these situations can occur in any school/teaching setting but I believe it happens more frequently in an urban setting where many students come from single parent homes or maybe parents are extremely busy working 2nd, 3rd shifts at work. Many students end up raising themselves.
Dilemma #2: What Should I Teach and How?
I have been involved with SO many new initiatives over the 23 years I have been with CPS, I have lost track. My current principal is the 6th one I have had at this school. I have lost track of the assistant principals I have worked with. We have had many teachers come and go in our department. I feel very fortunate that the current AP over my department used to be a math teacher. He is the first AP I have had who understands the course sequencing and the curriculum.
I felt we were doing a good job of preparing students for the ACT and post-secondary education over the last 5-6 years and then the intensity/focus has shifted to common core. Now we are being asked to present topics and material earlier and earlier in the curriculum. Many concepts are above the students’ ability level. Although I am very much in agreement with the standards of the common core, the reality is that it needs to be at an appropriate level for the students I have in front of me. If it is too difficult, students are frustrated and become angry. Many shut down and give up. If is too easy, the more advanced students are bored and are not adequately challenged. I find I am constantly trying to adapt concepts to the appropriate level. This is addition to trying to get colleagues onboard with teaching concepts differently, more non-traditionally. Also, this is the first time since I have been chair of my department (15 years) that I have a reduced teaching load. I only have 4 classes instead of the normal 5. I have always enjoyed teaching and still do. It’s just that when there is a revolving door of administrators, heads of CPS, changes in curriculum and pacing, it can be very difficult to feel that I am doing a good job. As I focus on my students on a daily basis, I can stay energized.
From my readings of What Should I do? Confronting Dilemmas of Teaching in Urban Schools
Dilemma #1: How Do I Care for Other People’s Children?
My school has a very diverse student population, as do many CPS schools. I wanted to relay two specific instances of how I felt very vulnerable, uncomfortable, worried, and frightened while teaching over the past two years. Last year, during the first of week of school, I had a junior in my advanced algebra class become extremely agitated and anxious. I had the luxury of a co-teacher in that class, so I asked “Madeline” to step out into the hall so I could talk with her. She was distraught, beginning to cry almost uncontrollably, as she relayed to me her total fear of mathematics. She had always struggled with math and was COMPLETELY convinced she would not be able to understand anything we would be covering during the year, much less master it. After a few minutes, she relayed to me that she had not taken her medication that morning and just basically needed to have a place to calm down. I had had a student about fifteen years prior have a similar anxiety attack and I had called 911. I was worried that I would have to do the same thing with Madeline.
During the first week this year, I had a student (who I knew from the soccer team) say he felt very light headed and wanted to go get a drink of water. He was obviously not feeling well at all and I was worried that he might pass out on the way to the fountain, hit his head and be knocked unconscious. I knew he was in great shape from being on the soccer team, but I was still very worried. The other students in the class were working independently so I was able to stand at the door and watch him go down the hall to the fountain and back. He ended up being fine by the time class ended.
The reason I mention these two instances is that I worry on a regular basis for many of my students. We start our first class at 7:30 am and many students leave their home very early in the morning to get to school, sometimes taking 2 or 3 buses. I am sure that many leave without eating breakfast, many forget to take medication, and some have major issues at home which makes it difficult to concentrate and focus on schoolwork. The two students I mentioned above ended up both being fine but I worried that if something had gone wrong later in the day, I could have been in trouble for not calling 911. On the other hand, if I had called 911, I would have to do it on a regular basis. Trying to use my years of experience, knowing the students, running all the options in my head WHILE teaching class / having 28+ students in front of me, is very exhausting. I know these situations can occur in any school/teaching setting but I believe it happens more frequently in an urban setting where many students come from single parent homes or maybe parents are extremely busy working 2nd, 3rd shifts at work. Many students end up raising themselves.
Dilemma #2: What Should I Teach and How?
I have been involved with SO many new initiatives over the 23 years I have been with CPS, I have lost track. My current principal is the 6th one I have had at this school. I have lost track of the assistant principals I have worked with. We have had many teachers come and go in our department. I feel very fortunate that the current AP over my department used to be a math teacher. He is the first AP I have had who understands the course sequencing and the curriculum.
I felt we were doing a good job of preparing students for the ACT and post-secondary education over the last 5-6 years and then the intensity/focus has shifted to common core. Now we are being asked to present topics and material earlier and earlier in the curriculum. Many concepts are above the students’ ability level. Although I am very much in agreement with the standards of the common core, the reality is that it needs to be at an appropriate level for the students I have in front of me. If it is too difficult, students are frustrated and become angry. Many shut down and give up. If is too easy, the more advanced students are bored and are not adequately challenged. I find I am constantly trying to adapt concepts to the appropriate level. This is addition to trying to get colleagues onboard with teaching concepts differently, more non-traditionally. Also, this is the first time since I have been chair of my department (15 years) that I have a reduced teaching load. I only have 4 classes instead of the normal 5. I have always enjoyed teaching and still do. It’s just that when there is a revolving door of administrators, heads of CPS, changes in curriculum and pacing, it can be very difficult to feel that I am doing a good job. As I focus on my students on a daily basis, I can stay energized.